Do you want to desperately get guy back? If so, you are going to have to use a strategy that will help you get him back and not cause him to head for the hills! Not to worry help is here.

Firstly remember that just because you want him back it doesn't mean that he wants to come back. If you've broken up before and your relationship has become a breakup/makeup merry go round, pretty soon one or both of you will want to one day get off that particular ride for good. So, there is a chance that he might have reached this point, no matter what you now feel and want.

Secondly to get guy back you're really going to have to look at the relationship as a whole, not just the parts you're comfortable looking at, because only then can you begin to find out what's causing the problems.

If you need outside third party help to scrutinize your relationship, then it's always worthwhile getting that help. If you have good and honest friends who will tell you what you need to hear, as opposed to what you want to hear, then talk to them.

You should also understand that to pull this off you're going to have to stop acting on whim and emotion and start working a well thought out proven plan. This is probably the most crucial step you will need to take, so get yourself under control. Sit down and plan to do whatever it takes to stop yourself running around making things worse – stop calling him, texting him and trying to force him to see you because begging and pleading won't work.

Instead, occupy yourself by getting out and meeting new people, take a class, get fit, whatever it takes to help you re-focus and approach the whole situation from a point of clarity and calmness, is what you need to do.

Especially take the time to look at why you want to get guy back, because to be honest, too many people find themselves back with their exs only to discover a few weeks down the line that they have made a huge mistake. So just because you want to get guy back right now, ask yourself if you really should?

If you've come to the conclusion that getting this guy back is the right move for you, then once you have yourself under control and you've thought things through, then your next move is to call and talk to him.

Understand that he may very well need more time before he is ready to speak to you never mind, entertain the idea of rekindling your relationship. Your goal, if this happens, is not to force the situation. Instead, tell him that you understand completely and then tell him you will give him more time to think things through. Leave it at that and continue living your life and keeping yourself busy.

Here is what you need to do if you dumped your boyfriend, whatever it was that made you turn around and end up with a dumped boyfriend, boy are you regretting it now because now, you want him back, but here's the thing he wants nothing to do with you and everything that you have tried so far to get him back, has failed.

Well, have you tried just leaving him alone for a while? Because pretty much you have hurt his feelings big time and he's doubtless feeling humiliated, if you have been calling him 24/7 and he's just not picking up, then that's a clear indication that you need to leave him alone, so instead of bombarding him with text messages and calls, give him some space and take a look at the real hidden reasons that might have caused you to wake up one morning with a dumped boyfriend.

The truth is some girls have been known to 'test' the relationship by ending it to see if their boyfriends will put up a fight for them and the relationship, if this is what you did, then this is basically flawed behavior, not only that, ask yourself why you would even want to put someone who you clearly have feelings for through the upset of a breakup?

Usually anyone who tries to manipulate someone to this extreme, has deep rooted self-esteem issues that they should really think about working out, your self-esteem is really the inner you, if you are suffering from low self-esteem then the little voice in your head often shouts negativity at you and tells you that you are just not good enough, take the time to address this and you will be far happier.

To win back a dumped boyfriend you are going to have to clearly work on yourself, no self-respecting boyfriend wants to be around someone who is high maintenance and doesn't know her own mind, in future, make sure you are one hundred per cent sure about what you are doing and why you are doing it, instead of dumping the guy, why not sit and talk to him about your fears and your insecurities, he will think more of you if you are honest with him, rather than if you simply lash out on a whim and dump him for what appears to be no good reason.

Following the tips I'm about to outline for you is a great start that will set you on the right road to winning him back, if you are still in love with your boyfriend then you are probably desperately trying to find help on how to get your ex boyfriend back, getting dumped by your boyfriend is no fun at all.

The worst thing that you can do in your quest to understand how to get your ex boyfriend back, is to get desperate and needy, desperate and needy spells out of control and high maintenance, boyfriends hate out of control and high maintenance because it means they never know what you will do and where you'll do it and so they are never at ease, letting your ex boyfriend see that you are out of control is a surefire way to drive him away, so if this is you, you need to stop.

Not only that in this state, you hand over far too much power to your ex boyfriend and you could find yourself taken advantage of big time. So if you want him back, don't set yourself up for a possibly painful and frustrating time.

What you should also avoid is to make yourself too readily available to your ex as you try and work out how to get your ex boyfriend back. Show him that you value and have pride in yourself and that you're not sitting home waiting for him to call. Get out and about and show him that you've got your life together and that you've taken the breakup in your stride. Having him believe anything else makes your goal to get him back an up hill battle that you will probably lose. So don't sit at home obsessing about what he might or might not be up to. Get yourself out!

If you want to get him back, make sure that you're looking after yourself. After all, you need to give him something to want to come back to and that means not letting yourself go. Instead of staying home consoling yourself with chocolate and soda make sure that you hit the gym and keep on hitting it! Start eating healthily and be sure you're always looking your best when you're out and about. Not only will all of this make you look good, but it will do the world of good for your self-esteem which has no doubt taken a huge blow through all of this.

Now everything outlined works together, so if you're after the best results don't apply each step in isolation. They all impact on each other and that's how you should use these steps when you're trying to understand how to get your ex boyfriend back.

Do you feel lonely now that he is gone? Are you desperate to get him back?

If you want your boyfriend back, you might need to change the way you approach him and the situation, if things went very fast and marriage seemed like a sure thing, he may have gotten scared off.

It could very well be that he felt smothered and did not have enough space or didn't feel like he was in control of his future, it could also be that you are pressuring him too much now and all he wants is to be away from you, hopefully this is not the case, but if you push too much it very well could be, if what you want is you and your boyfriend to get back together you have to be aware of this.

Your boyfriend might be like many males and thrive on being independent, they need their space from time to time, while the idea of marriage and commitment may have seemed appealing to them for a moment, reality could have set in and now they are feeling trapped, males very often need to feel in charge, they need to feel in charge of not only themselves, but of situations.

If things start getting fast they don't feel so in control anymore, once marriage or long term commitment starts getting discussed it is easy to feel that you are getting sucked into something if you don't feel ready, if they feel they are not ready, they most likely aren't, if they feel like they are getting pushed down a road they don't think they want to go yet, they may push themselves away.

If he has pushed himself away and you really want him back you are likely going to have to be secretive and sensitive about it, you will have to decide that you don't want to force him down the road, you want him to just walk with you and let him feel he is taking the lead, he needs to feel like he is choosing this direction.

Since there is no direction right now and you are dealing with a break up, now is actually a good time to get started back down that path, he may feel free and clear of you and to an extent very well may be, if he has any desire to talk with you and you are still on a friendly basis, just be available, but not too available, if he is going to call you, make it seem like you are hard to get on the phone, if he wants to make some plans with you, turn him down at first but ask for a rain check, the goal is to make him seem like he is pursuing you, let him be in the hunt.

Also let him have something to hunt for, sometimes the things most desired are the things that are hard to get, those will also be the things that makes them more likely to go in for the kill which is what you want him to do, you want him to commit and if you make yourself someone worth hunting and let yourself be hunted and not necessarily caught, you may see you and your boyfriend getting back together.

Reality is that it simply takes using a proven plan and then taking action on that plan, for you to win back your boyfriend.

Your first step should always be to distance yourself from your ex and this is an action to preserve your sanity as much as it to make a statement to your ex boyfriend, this step will stop you fixating on your ex and give you the space to concentrate on your own needs and requirements to help you get through this stressful time.

Make a serious attempt to reconnect with your family and friends and accept any help that will undoubtedly come from those who love and care about you, if you are serious about figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back it would be a huge mistake on your part to isolate yourself, with people around you it means you are not sitting at home crying and obsessing about the breakup of your relationship or your ex boyfriend.

Now, as you are spending time with family and friends, find out from them what they saw as the downfall of the relationship, I'm sure your boyfriend would have told you what he thought as he walked out, and you no doubt have your own ideas on what went wrong and why, however, sometimes it takes the perspective of an outsider looking in to make sense of a relationship, so if you seriously want to figure out how to get your boyfriend back then ask others for their opinions.

Your next move is to make sure that given what you have heard back from family and friends regarding their take on the breakup, that you now think for yourself, you either agree or disagree with what's been said and of course you are doubtless going to get different opinions from them all, so take some time to weigh up what's been said and the final decision is yours.

Yes you started out wanting to get your ex boyfriend back, but is it still what you want? Perhaps you have heard some truths that now put that quest in doubt? Perhaps you have had time to come to terms with the breakup and you can more readily accept it? Whatever and wherever you are, be clear on what you want before you make the next move.

If you are still determined to go ahead and win him back, then your next move is to call him and to do so calmly and without emotion and drama and talk to him about the way you feel.